You’d think that creating your guest list would be one of the easiest parts of wedding planning. But trust us – it’s hard.
You know who needs to be there. You know the people that you wouldn’t dream of having a wedding without. But what about the others? The other halves that you’re not well acquainted with, the toddlers that you’re not sure if you want there and those work colleagues that you see everyday at work, but dip your head if you see them in the supermarket. Set yourself limits, keep things in check and remember that it’s your wedding day, not anyone else’s.
Get Things Started
Give yourself a number. Not a rough estimated amount that you’ll loose control of after a couple of months, but a calculated figure. It’s not glamorous or emotional, but it’s necessary to ensure your big day runs without any hiccups and the budget remains in tact.
You need to be brutal. Try not to get too emotional about your guest list and think of it as logically as you can – do you want to pay £75 for that person to be at your wedding?
It may sound like an unromantic way to think about it, but at the end of the day every extra guest you invite is another number out of your bank account. So don’t waste your money on people that you’re just trying to please.
You can’t predict the future
Give yourself some leeway. You don’t know what’s going to happen in the run-up to your big day. Realistically, there will be holidays booked, relationships ended and pregnancies announced. So don’t be offended when people can’t come, just make sure you’re prepared for any eventuality.
If those people were chosen over someone else, invite the person that you couldn’t previously invite. But be thoughtful in how you do this, nobody wants to think of themselves as an after thought.
This can be the trickiest one to narrow down. Handing out invites at work can spiral into a game of dominos quicker than you’ll realise. I mean, you couldn’t possibly invite Sharon from Accounts and not Linda.
Well, you can.
You shouldn’t feel any obligation to people. If you feel like you’re going to crack under pressure and start handing out invites in the staff room, then make sure you’ve got a number of invites held back
Possibly the most controversial of guest list discussions but with a very easy answer; you either invite your guests to bring children or you don’t.
If you don’t want your wedding guests running off after their children all afternoon and leaving the party at 8pm to get their little ones under the cover – then clearly state that kids aren’t invited.
But kids at weddings also aren’t going to ruin your big day. If you know there are going to be children in tow, set up a kid’s area in one of the pods of your marquee to keep everyone happy.
Keep It Schtum
Obviously we’re not suggesting that you don’t discuss your guest list with others, but as soon as other people start putting their two cents in, you’ll see your guest list grow out of control. Your Mum will be asking why you haven’t invited your second cousin who you haven’t seen, nor spoken to, since you were five and your little brother will be asking if his two best friends from High School can make an appearance. Unless you’re OK with that, the answer’s no.
And that’s pretty much the short of it. Not only is it your big day, but it’s probably your big day that you’re financing. So don’t feel bad about having to leave people off the list. People know weddings can be tricky, so don’t panic and just make sure your nearest and dearest will be there.